Words are powerful. They can make a person feel, think, or behave in a certain way. The skill of effective communication is a critical tool for children to learn.

According to Paul Axtell, author of the Parenting.com article The 10 Most Powerful Things You Can Say to Your Kid, “what you say, how you say it, when you say it — is one of the only tools parents have in creating lasting and meaningful relationships with their kids.” Words can create a reality, and negative words can put a situation in a negative light. Knowing how to properly communicate what we want to say is powerful when teaching our kids healthy communication.

Here is Axtell’s list of 10 powerful things to say to children:

"I like you"

This is different from saying "I love you." Although telling a child you love them is important, stating that you like them says you like who they are as a person. Sometimes this statement can seem more personal.

"You're a fast learner"

Learning is a part of everyone’s life. Younger children find learning fascinating. When you communicate learning in a positive light, it can influence children’s perspective later when learning can be challenging or frustrating. Finding the right words to help them through a learning obstacle, or simply encouraging them along the way, can set the foundation to a healthy outlook on learning.

"Thank you"

We all remind our little ones to say the magic words please and thank you. These simple words are a sign of respect. Having social skills are critical in life. By saying thank you to your child, they understand how good it feels to be appreciated.

"How about we agree to..."

It can be instinctual to simply say “no” and move on when we hear something we don’t like. By setting the stage for how you work together, offering compromises can show a child how to be flexible. Compromises can also avoid common or reoccurring problems, and teach them how to come up with solutions them self.